I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
