i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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