Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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