This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
