so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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