Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
