do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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