Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
