Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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