He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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