:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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