"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
