We won't sleep together?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
