What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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