please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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