where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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