john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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