If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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