Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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