i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
