I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
