u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this will be a night to untag.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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