Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.