no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon