Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
