Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"