Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts