shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.