Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
