Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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