Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
