he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
