he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize