What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
