every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
