Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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