these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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