That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
