carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
