My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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