I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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