In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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