Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
