I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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