you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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