You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
