She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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