it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize