I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
