I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
