youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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