Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
bring money and cleavage
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
