Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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