I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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