she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
