I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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