My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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