Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
