FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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