Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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