i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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