brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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