He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
