You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
