Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
