dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
