I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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