She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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