Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
